the letter
by steadyasbella94
Summary: unable to keep the secrets she has been keeping so long she loses it. she writes the letter as a way to escape without having to tell her own hell. rape. cutting. based off a true story. please read and review!
1. writing

**I just needed this off my mind… I own nada.**

I look down at the blood turning my once white sock a deep red. It's not the first time I've gone through this. It's not the first time I've bled at my own hands. Not the first scar that will be on my leg. Now that I think of it I have many scars. But it doesn't matter, now I am writing.

_ I don't know what to say other than sorry. If I hurt you I did not mean to do so._

_ I can't take this pain anymore, the secrets, stress. What pain? What secrets? And what stress? I know that what you are thinking. I would be thinking the same if I didn't know firsthand. Night after night of the same hell weather im awake or asleep the same hell awaits me. Some nights are worse than others. It depends on him. His mood._

I feel the blood starting to dry. I touch the drop wanting to spill over the cut, still wet. Not caring to clean my hand I pick up my pen and keep writing, soiling the pen.

_ Keeping this from my friends my family is so hard. To lie to them when they ask what is wrong, to plaster a smile on my face day after day. I can't sleep so I drink coffee, the coffee makes my hyper, hyper is happy. This is the mask I wear day after day I can't remember a time I slept the entire night. If I am to fall asleep when I go to bed I wake when I hear the door open. I don't move just wait, wait for him to be done._

_ I don't want to live this way anymore. So I am done. _

Tears are streaming down my face as I pull each person's face I deeply care for from my memory. But It still doesn't stop me from taking my favorite knife in my hand holding on so tight my knuckles are white, bring it to my leg and pressing with all my might and sliding it across my skin as fast as I could. The blood flows faster than my tears and soon all is black.

**Please review and let me know if I should continue… please no flames this story is very close to me.**


	2. found

_**I don't own any thing. This story is close to me because this is how I felt and other than trying to kill myself it is what I did. **_

_**I was unsure if I had wanted to make this story Ginny or Hermione. Well on with the story.**_

_** Lunas P.O.V.**_

__I was talking to harry and Ron about the upcoming quidditch match its ravenclaw against slytherin and they were saying how they hope we win. But that conversation ended minutes ago and I decided I needed to go up to the girls Gryffindor tower. I don't know what but I was being drawn up there.

I was told the password earlier in the day when Ginny and I came up here to get a book she forgot for potions. This odd feeling was drawing me up the stairs and to a room. I know this room I've been in it before. I swiftly knock on the door.

There is no answer. Hoping she wouldn't mind my intrusion I try the door and it is unlocked so I don't have to worry about unlocking it. I pull out my wand anyways preparing for the worst. But I did not expect this.

Her hair a mess and everywhere, blood running down her leg and not just a little, mass amounts of it. Running to her side I take off the ravenclaw sweatshirt I'm wearing and wrap her leg as tightly as I can and tie it I send a potrunous out to get help.

The only thing I could think to do while i waiting for help was get a wet washcloth and I do. By the time I arrived back to my friend lying on the floor her face was deadly pale and when I put the cloth on her face she was cold. Deciding I couldn't wait for help to arrive I pulled my wand out (just registering I had put it away) and levitated the gryfindor off the ground and out the door.

Rushing and trying to keep my mind on holding her steady were hard enough without the stray thought of _my friend tried to kill herself. Why? What could be so bad she didn't want to live any longer?_ Finally reaching the infirmary after what seemed like a life time, but was only minutes "madam Pomfrey? Please I need help!" I yelled for the healer. Tears hitting my cheeks as levitated the dying girl onto the nearest cot like bed.

Then as she hits the mat madam Pomfrey appears from whatever is behind a door in the back of the rom. "oh Merlin! What happened? Did… did she do this to her self?" the healer asks me and I can do nothing but nod.

**Hermiones P.O.V.**

It was perfect. It was peaceful. I was alone yet I knew Id be okay. _He_ wasn't here. _He _couldn't hurt me anymore. The blood was running out of me like never before. I could no longer feel the blood or the pain for that matter just black.

I knew this would be a selfish thing to do but I could stand _him_ any longer. Every night it was the same, no they weren't, some were worse. Some nights I could get him to stop before went too far… other nights I could not… those nights were the worst. The nights I didn't even close my eyes.

**Ginnys P.O.V.**

Deciding I needed to talk to my friend I walk up the stairs to her room. But I stop when I get to the door. Blood. All I register is blood. Once the shock has worn enough to walk, I do. I see a bit off blood, just a smear of it on a paper on her desk.

_ I don't know what to say other than sorry. If I hurt you I did not mean to do so._

_ I can't take this pain anymore, the secrets, stress. What pain? What secrets? And what stress? I know that's what you are thinking. I would be thinking the same if I didn't know firsthand. Night after night of the same hell weather im awake or asleep the same hell awaits me. Some nights are worse than others. It depends on him. His mood._

_Keeping this from my friends my family is so hard. To lie to them when they ask what is wrong, to plaster a smile on my face day after day. I can't sleep so I drink coffee, the coffee makes my hyper, hyper is happy. This is the mask I wear day after day I can't remember a time I slept the entire night. If I am to fall asleep when I go to bed I wake when I hear the door open. I don't move just wait, wait for him to be done._

_ I don't want to live this way anymore. So I am done. _

Once I read it my only thoughts are _I knew something was off. Why hadn't I came in to talk to her earlier? _Then out loud voiced "where are you Hermione?"

**Like I said making this story as real as I can. Other than attempting suicide this is a true story… please review.**


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